Giving constructive feedback to your employees

I talked about giving feedback to my boss last time, so I want to write about a difficult conversation with one of my employee this time.  Most people think that it should be easier for a boss to give feedback to his or her employees.  Sure it is not hard to say the words since there is generally less fear of repurcussion.  However, to give feedback in a way that would influence the employees to change is not any easier.  I have an employee who is completely committed in making himself look good.  In doing so, he would undermine his colleagues, throw his peers and staff under the bus, not sharing credits with his peers and staff.  I knew that I needed to address his behaviors which I believe was rooted in a great deal of insecurity.  I honestly don't even think I like him because he has been such a headache to me, but I know that I have an obligation to help him as his supervisor.  So how do you give someone negative feedback that would still build them up and motivate them to change?  The fact that he works in the satellite office presents an added challenge as this conversation could not be in person unless I was willing to wait longer.

I ended up scheduling some time for us to talk.  I decided to use very specific examples and the one example I used was when he told my boss the project one of his peers was responsible for was in jeopardy.  I asked him why he did it and how he would feel if his peers did that to him with the most calm voice I could come up with.  After he admitted to the impropriety of his actions, instead of criticizing him, I appealed to his desire to feel important.  I said, "I need your help in setting up a good example for our staff and shape our organizational culture for collaboration and teamwork."  In the end, he was very receptive to my feedback and agreed to modify his behaviors.  I recognize that a person cannot change overnight.  I am also not naive in thinking that one conversation could effect significant changes.  As such, one key thing to remember when we have difficult conversations is not to expect instant changes, but to start a process of change.