Giving feedback to your boss

A friend of mine asked me this week how one could give constructive feedback to his/her boss.  That is indeed a tricky thing to do.  For the most part, bosses are in a position of power relative to their employees.  If the bosses do not like what they hear from us, our fear would be that we could suffer some consequences.  The reality is that the fear is legitmate.  Bosses do have the power and ability to retaliate.  We therefore should approach this kind of conversations with care.  You must know who you are dealing with and where you stand.  Depending on the level of openness and trust, you need to adapt the degree of frankness and amount of information to be shared. 

I actually gave my boss some feedback this week myself.  Fortunately, my boss is the kind of person who is open to feedback and has a high degree of awareness.  She also trusts me a great deal.  Even so, I did not just lay out all my feedback.  We have to remember and consider that human feelings are fragile.  Even the strongest and most open person has difficulty hearing negative feedback.  It is part of being human and our bosses are just regular human beings.  Therefore, the first thing I suggest is for you to think of him/her as a regular person who has regular human needs (i.e. affirmations, recognitions, etc.).  If you care about him/her as a person, the message would come out differently.  In my case, my boss and I spent some time discussing our employee survey results that highlighted some key leadership issues some of which directly related to my boss.  As we went through the feedback results, I acknowledged her strengths and I gave her examples of my own experience to help her understand the employees' viewpoints.  I also took ownership of things I could do better.  Additionally, I watched her reaction carefully to guage when she has heard enough.  The goal is to for her to receive the feedback, not for me to say everything on my mind.  Knowing when to stop is the key.  Another important thing to remember is that change takes time.  Do not expect people to change overnight.  Be patient, persistent, and gracious.